"when your mind’s made up, there’s no point trying to change it."
Eurydice of the Grove (Nettie) by Rebekah Campbell for The Photographic Journal
Road Trip to Chicago
Stop by the:
Enchanted glittered grove of the eternal ethereal
phasing in and out, clearing the mind, funniness
haven’t written for a while!
I feel more and more shy from a lot of things.
I’m enjoying a lot of things such as my classes at school, the slow pace I’m taking everyday and being around good people and music.
One of the most remarkable things was what I am learning in my collaborative class now—- we make a lot of sounds and movements… basically exploring our own body through movements. I’ve never done anything like this before, and judgement is not ever about in that class. I like it that way, since we all can express ourselves without any embarrassment, and i can grunt, hiss, throw myself onto the floor, drag my head across the wall, and no one will say anything because they’re doing something just as unpredictable.
However.. I did realize that I am more and more sensitive with things that I do. It’s a little harder to make things. I have ideas but it’s difficult to create them at a quicker pace so I can see them. I can only see things in my mind, and my body is quite slow at producing them. Maybe my drive is lagging, but I hope my mind will make up for it. I’m pushing my body very hard in yoga practice— pro: I am still very driven and am able to still keep consistent, con: I am frustrated often not being able to reach goals.
It’s hard to meet people at school, since I am the ‘new girl’, and I for some reason… this year, i’m comfortable with doing down dogs in the corner, instead of making a conversation, or walking off exploring some new place in gastown, instead of trying to fit into a group of ‘cool’ kids.
After attending many art events this summer and recently, and seeing the ‘hip kids’ hanging out and making art… I realized that I’m a lot different…
I’m more serious than them, and not as willing to let loose. It’s a weird feeling. Whenever I go into a gallery, I immediately feel comfortable to find the artist, have a talk with them, or tend to want to talk to older people, instead of the wannabe hipsters.
Maybe the vision I have for my career is not what I expected, and I’m kind of glad that I’m not trying to fit in into any group.
Is it weird that I feel entertained by the gazillion thoughts racing through my brain all the time? I feel so occupied with just what goes through my head and the details that I see everyday, that keeping a schedule or meeting new friends is a little out of my reach.
I am going to make it a goal to try to keep my life balanced this year in school though. It feels a little funny that my mind and body feels a lot different this year. I used to be extremely caught up with everything, but in an emotional way. But this year, I think that I am able to quickly clear my conscience, and focus on extreme detail. It’s actually quite calming. But it’s kind of confusing me…. it feels like I’m sometimes tuning in and out of life, and zoning out in a lot of conversations with people.
maybe zoning out is a good thing? i hope for now, it’s a good kinda thing!
The Zolas - Ancient Mars (piano) (by Alanna h)
my cover of ancient mars by the zolas